It’s late November, 2012. The end of the world, scheduled for Dec. 21, looms in full focus. On Twitter, it’s trending. Religious leaders are fretting. As the Mayans have it, we really only have a few weeks left.
The world needs a savior, and Old Spice has just the man: Dikembe Mutombo, a retired professional basketball player with a thunderous voice who stands 7’2″ and has a penchant for blocking your best shots.
For real. Take a look at “Old Spice Saves the World.”
The newly minted site, created with stunning 16-bit graphics and one of the worst soundtracks of all time, finds the Congolese-American hero and four-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year wagging an oh-no-you-don’t finger in the face of Mayan foretellings, dedicating the next four weeks of his life to further creating some strength on #TeamEarth.
“A kabillion some odd years ago-ish, the Mayans predicted the world would end on December 21, 2012,” Mutombo says during the introduction. “Which is a terrible idea since we as humans have not even invented a self combing hair yet.
“Someone had to defend our planet and prevent this from happening. And that defender had to be me: Dikembe Mutombo. For four-and-a-half weeks, I will courageously battle to save your world, and with your help, carve additional time into the Mayan calendar to buy us more time on this Earth.
Mutombo’s first task is ridding the world of “that South Korean dance” “Gangnam Style,” that hilariously high octane K-pop jam that recently catapulted to the most viewed YouTube video of all time.
In order to do it, he must descend into the middle of the earth and rack up a whole slew of votes from public onlookers.
That’s week one. Next week, Mutombo takes on “Blurgpocalypse.” Three more weeks worth of objectives follow, with Mutombo taking on the Mayan Grand Poobah around Dec. 21.
And by “Mutombo,” we mean “you.” It’s a game, remember? And one that you’re playing. Time to get started.
Photo via Old Spice Saves the World
