This article contains sexually explicit subject matter.
Rick Santorum—the perennial Republican candidate who stands for traditional values like refusing rights to gay people and labeling countries as “Iran: Enemy. Israel: Friend”—has a theme song.
Played in a genre that seems perfectly triangulated to meet the intersection between generic radio rock, pop-country, and Christian rock, the song’s lyrics reflect a specific policy initiative:
Isn’t it time to take back America?
Isn’t it time to unleash the pride?
Open our eyes and take back America
This is the wave
Changing the tide
Isn’t it time?
But here’s one thing Santorum’s people probably didn’t consider when they chose to host the song on SoundCloud: The site lets users tag comments at specific moments. As you might remember—indeed, it may be the only thing you know about Santorum—activists have bristled at the former Pennsylvania senator’s anti-gay stances, and successfully campaigned for his name to be used to refer to “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” The result is a messy remix.
So when the song says “unleash,” it shows one user’s comment of “UNLEASH MY SANTORUM!” At the line “open our eyes,” someone’s commented, “OPEN WIDE HERE COMES THE TIDE OF SANTORUM.” You get the idea.
Poor Santorum. Even when he leaks the blandest of songs, he’s still unable to scrub his name clean.
Update 3:24pm CT, May 27: Someone has, for whatever reason, disabled comments on Santorum’s song. Fortunately, we were able to save one example before the magic disappeared.
SoundCloud
Photos via Wikipedia Commons (CC BY 3.0) | Remix by Max Fleishman
