Got some cash burning a hole in your pocket? I don’t mean an extra couple hundred bucks from your holiday bonus, I mean some serious I-just-won-the-lottery-and-then-robbed-a-bank money. If so, you’re probably looking for ways to spoil yourself and those around you this holiday.
You can’t just waltz into any old Best Buy or Walmart and find something that will test your bank account—you need to break out the big guns, and that means finding some of the most obnoxiously opulent gadgets that humanity has ever conjured up. Lucky for you, I’ve gathered a few for this very occasion.
If you’re on a budget, brace yourself, because this is going to hurt.
Luxury Gold iPhone 6 Swarovski Style Brilliance Elite
Goldgenie
Price: $4,758
Apple’s newest iPhone isn’t exactly cheap, but you won’t find anything at your local wireless carrier that comes close to the price of this beauty. Covered in 24k gold and inlaid with Swarovski crystals on the top, bottom, and sides, this iPhone 6 is like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It even comes in a solid wood box crafted out of cherry oak. Sure, it’ll probably get stolen the first time you try to use it in public, but even as the thief is sprinting away with it you’ll be able to admire its shimmering accents.
Optimus Popularis Keyboard
Art Lebedev Studio
Price: $1,500
You’ve got to hand it to the Art Lebedev Studio for creating a keyboard that truly looks like something out of science fiction. Where other keyboards are still working on things like color-changing keys, the company’s Optimus keyboards do something unimaginably cool. You see, every key is actually a tiny backlit LCD display that can be customized to whatever image you desire. Effortlessly change between languages, create custom shortcuts for your most-used programs or favorite websites, or just put a bunch of goofy cat photos on every key because you’re a weirdo.
Kohler Numi Toilet
Kohler
Price: $5,000
When your toilet is so attractive that it doubles as a work of art, you know you probably paid too much for it. Nevertheless, Kohler’s Numi bathroom throne is an undeniably attractive latrine accessory that is absolutely packed with gadgetry. For starters, the seat and cover are motion-activated, it warms itself so you never have to fear a chilly rear, and it has a built-in deodorizer. Oh, and it lights up, plays music, and has a foot warmer. You may never want to stop your number two.
HM6 Space Pirate Watch
MB&F
Price: $230,000
I’ve never seen anyone wearing this watch in person, but if I did, I can guarantee you I’d ask them to show me their time machine. This beastly timepiece is made up of nearly 500 parts and is cased in aeronautic grade titanium. A dial (or crown, if you want to be all fancy about it) on the side pulls back a UV shield in the middle of the watch to reveal the complex inner workings. Only 50 of these watches even exist, so… hurry.
The Special Edition Human Regenerator
System4 Technologies
Price: $10,000,000
You can’t put a price on immortality, but that hasn’t stopped Germany’s System4 Technologies from trying. The company dreamed up a way to “regenerate” the human body using various sound waves and vibrations, and it claims that the effects range from a boosted immune system to anti-aging. Whether or not you buy into it is of course your own decision, but there’s one thing that’s undeniable, and that’s the sky-high price tag. The standard version barely breaks the $500k mark, but this limited edition diamond-studded regenerator features 172,000 diamonds and is considerably more pricey.
Porsche Design BlackBerry P’9983
BlackBerry
Price: $2,300
Do you want a BlackBerry? Of course not, but that isn’t stopping Porsche from teaming with the once-and-never-again king of smartphones for a limited edition luxury handset that is sure to (maybe) impress you. Aside from the Porsche Design logo, this is essentially your basic BlackBerry device, with a full keyboard, BlackBerry 10 operating system and middle-of-the-road camera and social features. You’re really just paying for that fancy logo, but boy, is it ever shiny.
Full-pavé Calibre R822 “Predator”
Roland Iten
Price: $400,000
This insane fashion accessory might look like it could tear your arm off—and who knows, perhaps it can—but that’s not necessarily surprising with a name like “Predator.” In case you couldn’t tell from the photo, this is a belt buckle. Yes, a belt buckle constructed out of titanium, accented in white gold, and covered in nearly 400 diamonds. As impressive as it may look, it has just one usability feature: It can be operated with one hand. Hey, that’s something, right?
Robby the Robot
Hammacher Schlemmer
Price: $32,000
We’ve all dreamed of our very own robot assistant, and while this friendly face will only be recognizable to old-school sci-fi fans it’s definitely a stunning tribute. Straight out of Forbidden Planet, Robby can be all yours—all seven feet of him. This fiberglass beauty moves his head, twirls his scanners, and even talks at the prompt of a remote control. Of course it’s insanely expensive, but it’s also insanely cool.
Photo via Goldgenie
