A photo of “work wife” and “work husband” Valentine’s Day cards for sale has X users up in arms, accusing them of normalizing cheating. While some people felt that the idea of celebrating a work spouse is harmless, the image had some women ready to commit acts of violence as they imagined their husbands buying one of these.
The concept of a work spouse goes back decades, but making Valentine’s Day cards that they can gift each other may be a new development and a serious risk for married workers.
Tradwives crucify work wife Valentine’s Day cards
On Tuesday, X user and @abarefootmomma posted a photo of two Valentine’s Day cards on a shop display labeled “work wife” and “work husband.” Both are decorated with hearts and say “for my work [spouse] on Valentine’s Day” before declaring “I’ve finally found someone just as inappropriate as me!”
The OP and many commenters, especially conservative accounts, certainly agreed about the “inappropriate” part. Some accused the card makers of promoting office affairs and promised slash and burn tactics should their own spouses buy one of these cards for a coworker.
“If someone gave one of these to my husband their house would be on fire,” said @julieheglund.
“My husband woukd [sic] be forced to quit his job and then forced to quit breathing actually,” wrote @mygirlystuff1.
“I hate this to my core,” @musings_blonde fumed. “What an insanely inappropriate concept.”
Not all the haters appear to be tradwives or conservatives, however. After the post broke out the of OP’s circle of followers, plenty of politically neutral accounts condemned the cards for promoting what many feel is at least suspect behavior among those in committed and monogamous relationships.
“Office work/husband is just a decorative term for an office affair, and what’s surprising about this concept is that many people will find it normal and not problematic at all,” said @Sarimmilla.
Are work spouses ever acceptable?
Some X users did not immediately jump to the worst conclusion about these cards, pointing out that sometimes single people work in offices and become close with coworkers in a way that makes them almost seem like a married couple.
There might even be a blossoming office romance afoot, which may not be the wisest idea, but it’s not worth burning down a building over.
“The only context this is cute in is for two people who aren’t married and just have a crush at work, calling them a work husband as a joke or being flirty,” says @Prolife_Sam. “In all other context – it’s gross.”
There were even a couple accounts who pointed out that these “work wife” Valentine’s Day cards may signal an increasing acceptance of non-monogamous relationships. Of course, this may be part of what’s infuriating the OP and her followers.
“Can we please just normalize non monogamy already?” asked @whatsupdangerrr. “Cause yall engage in every aspect of it, but refuse to admit it.”
Then the chaos agents arrived.
“Imagine the office drama you could create with these,” wrote @fatherprost. “Just buy a ton, leave them at people’s desk with no signature, and see what happens.”
The history of work spouses
Work wives and work husbands have been such a prolific idea for so long that they’ve been the subject of research. A scholarly article from 2015 defines a work spouse as “a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect.”
The history of these terms goes back almost a century, when Faith Baldwin published her novel The Office Wife in 1930, popularizing the phrase. Back then, long before sexual harassment laws, the concept had a bit of a different vibe and likely resulted in similar accusations of infidelity from real wives and husbands.
Work spouses are also an international phenomenon. A 2024 report by the Irish Independent says that 40 percent of working people surveyed claimed to have a work wife or husband, with 72 percent admitting that there is “someone they are particularly fond of or close to at the office.”
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