Venture capitalist Bryan Johnson attracted the attention of X users on Wednesday by posting data about his son’s erections on the app. This is the same guy who took transfusions of his son’s plasma in an attempt to stave off death. He calls this anti-aging scheme “Project Blueprint” and his son, Talmage Johnson, earned the nickname “Blood Boy.”
But that wasn’t weird enough, apparently, and so now we all get to learn about some 19-year-old guy’s erection timetables. Bryan has yet to explain why he did this to us, and Talmage only quote-tweeted the post to say, “I’m grateful for the way my dad has raised me.”
Bryan Johnson’s been tracking his son’s what now?
On Jan. 22, Bryan posted images from a device called the Adam Sensor, designed to record things that happen in your sleep.
“The Adam Sensor is a compact device designed for comfortable wear during sleep,” the company’s website announces. “It tracks nighttime erections by monitoring changes in penile size throughout the night. As your penis becomes erect, it increases in size. The Adam Sensor detects these size changes.”
The screenshot in the X post compared metrics such as “Number of Erection Episodes,” “Total Duration of Erection Episodes,” and “Average Erection Quality” (however it measures that) alongside “Sleep Efficiency.” That is apparently Bryan on the left, and Talmage on the right.
“Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son, @talmagejohnson_, and me,” Bryan wrote. “His duration is two minutes longer than mine.”
“Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright.”
While Talmage may have beaten his father in terms of number and duration, Bryan’s “average quality” was higher than his son’s. That’s not bad for a man of 47, though the app lists his “AndroAge” as 22, just like Talmage.
The app used to gather this data is Adam Sensor by AdamHealth, which promises to help consumers “take control of your erection health.” If that’s what you’re looking for in a health app, there’s bad news.
“Due to overwhelming demand, the Adam Sensor is currently on a waiting list,” the website warns. “All orders will ship within 7-8 weeks from the date of purchase.”
It’s unclear if Bryan is involved with this company or just a customer.
‘Put your genitals in the Device’
We all know about main character syndrome and how some folks will do just about anything for attention, but there’s no way X users could resist something like this. People have flooded the app with jokes about tracking the erections of one’s children along with expressions of horror and utter bafflement over the essential question: Why?
“Twitter isn’t like it used to be but a guy posting about tracking his son’s erections is classic tweeting,” wrote user @alexnpress.
Some feel that this development is lending credence to the theory that after a certain point, money starts to poison the brain.
“1. Monitor the activity of your son’s penis while he sleeps. 2. Compare it against your own penis activity. 3. Share the penis info with EVERYONE in the form of a joke that would get you kicked out of a Brooklyn basement open mic,” @MattMaragno summarized.
“Being a Billionaire breaks people.”
Johnson’s tweet was wild enough to made it to X competitor Bluesky, where users continued the joke train.
“Talmage did you forget to put your genitals in the Device last night, I’m not seeing a reading,” wrote @pattymo.com.
Who is Bryan Johnson?
Bryan Johnson is the founder and former CEO of Kernel. Also known as HI, LLC, Kernel is an American tech company best known for developing non-invasive neuroimaging technology. Presumably, Bryan used this tech to measure and display information about Talmage’s johnson.
Bryan founded the company in 2016 with $100 million from his former successful ventures, including former Venmo parent company Braintree.
He went on to announce Project Blueprint on Oct. 13, 2021. As part of this anti-aging program, he underwent six 1-liter plasma transfusions over six months, one of which came from his son Talmage. Bryan’s father also participated in what Talmage called “the world’s first tri-generational plasma exchange.”
Bryan ended the transfusions there and says he will not do it again because, as the FDA warned, it didn’t work. He continues to attempt to beat the natural aging process with a strict diet and other lifestyle restrictions.
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