After receiving a note from an anonymous neighborhood “Karen” that her beloved gargoyle Frank wasn’t Christmas appropriate, Vicki Matter knew exactly what to do: stick a Santa hat and beard on Frank to get him into the spirit of the season.
Strangely, this didn’t sit well with Anonymous Karen, even after Matters added a little Christmas tree to make things even more festive. After receiving another anonymous note, this time asking if she thought she was funny, Matters decided to take her elf off his shelf and put him on Frank’s shoulder, adding a little note of her own explaining that the elf would always be watching. She also decided to treat her porch display as an advent calendar, adding one more offbeat Christmas decoration every day. Matters, who according to Facebook is based in Nevada, is chronicling her ordeal with the neighbor on the social media site.
Anonymous Karen stayed quiet for a few days, but after Matter added a cat skeleton in a Santa hat, she just had to speak up again. Calling Matter “beyond childish” and accusing her of “celebrating death,” she also added that it was “unbelievable that you would mock the homeless in such a manner,” something Matters thinks may be a result of Anonymous Karen not recognizing the placard of Bruce Willis from Die Hard tucked behind Frank’s head.
Matter responded by adding yet more festively creepy friends to her porch display and sticking a pot meets kettle sign to her front door. Anonymous Karen apparently didn’t appreciate the humor, however, and responded by knocking the skeleton dog down and writing “go to hell” on the sign. Messing with the sign was one thing, but attacking such a good boy was quite another. This could only mean one thing: war. Festive, twinkle light wrapped war. Over the next few days, Matter added Christmas sweater-wearing hippos, a Phantom of the Opera (because he also likes to send demanding notes) snowman with a little bin for Anonymous Karen to deposit her letters in, a coronavirus-spewing Christmas wreath, and a plague doctor and his court of rats.
It seems the rats were too much for Anonymous Karen. While she’d limited herself to mean-spirited notes for the first few days, including one that claimed “HIPPOS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!” and another that proclaimed her name wasn’t Karen but she had called the mayor, Anonymous Karen stepped up her game and scattered the poor rats everywhere while Matter was out of the house. Never fear, this rat attack also came with a note, in which Karen expressed her disbelief that Matter “would choose to put VERMIN on [her] porch,” and stated that Matter’s parents “must be so proud to have raised such a completely disrespectful and spiteful daughter.”
Matter’s not the one kicking over other people’s porch displays, Karen, but we digress. Matter responded by fixing up all of her little rat friends and adding a big plushie Santa rat, giving him a little sign that says:
“God and Santa love all creatures great and small! That’s why we have veterinarians! You know who they don’t love? They don’t live mean Karen’s who throw tiny creatures! BAD KAREN!! You’re a very bad Karen! No treats for you! Now you go think about what you did.
SIX FEET BACK PLEASE.”
Though Anonymous Karen claims to have reported Matter to both the Mayor and their housing association, neither have come for Matter so far. However, Matter decided that Frank needed a little back up anyway and so brought him a little gargoyle friend to help defend their porch, complete with a little Santa hat of his own.
Since then, she’s also added pink plastic flamingoes, referencing a fun family tradition where she and her sibling “randomly flamingo each other’s yards.” Don’t worry though, in order to keep things appropriately festive, they’re kitted out in little Christmas hats and scarves.
The Daily Dot has contacted Vicki Matter and will update this article if she responds.
