Romance novelist Amy Pennza horrified the internet this week with a photograph of her and her mother-in-law at Pennza’s wedding—both wearing wedding dresses.
My mother-in-law wore a wedding dress to my wedding. So, yeah, top that one, Twitter. #weddingfail @jimmyfallon pic.twitter.com/IjqvnXT6Ps
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 19, 2019
People naturally assumed the worst.
You know, in a way, this is beautiful. Like… Most mother-in-laws hold back until you’re actually married to let loose the full measure of their toxicity, but this lady was extremely upfront about it all. It’s like the way a rattlesnake rattles before it bites you. So nice.
— Jamie Kenney (@LaComtesseJamie) June 19, 2019
Is she still alive? pic.twitter.com/cyiNJk4OxN
— 🧡🤎The Browns and Coffee ☕️☕️ (@amymac0215) June 19, 2019
It’s passive aggressive. A wedding is a big deal for the bride and finding some way to upset her or upstage her is what some people do. The annals of jealous weirdos trying to ruin weddings are loooooong.
— Katrina Gulliver (@katrinagulliver) June 19, 2019
https://twitter.com/heardinboca/status/1141458735673630721
Commenters also provided some pretty funny takes on the situation.
“You need to make a ‘who wore it better’ and send the results out as your Christmas Cards this year,” one Twitter user wrote.
https://twitter.com/ahoyfromnc/status/1141452019347132416
People also suggested strategies for dealing with similar missteps in the future.
https://twitter.com/TM_Coffin/status/1141460411306430467
Pennza followed up on Wednesday to reveal the full story—and it’s very different from the one people were imagining.
https://twitter.com/EricaJoy/status/1141438181381771264
It started out the way we might have expected, with an explanation about why the bridesmaids didn’t do their red wine spilling duty.
“My sister (matron of honor) said she didn’t pull me aside and talk about it because she hoped I was too distracted to notice,” Pennza explained. “My college roommate (bridesmaid) said the same thing.”
So, a couple people have asked for the story behind The Dress. Sorry for the delay! I have four kids (yes, I married him) on summer break, so my permanent state of being is “frazzled.” I called my daughter “mom” the other day.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
Later, my sister (matron of honor) said she didn’t pull me aside and talk about it because she hoped I was too distracted to notice. My college roommate (bridesmaid) said the same thing.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
But then there was a huge twist (Pennza is a writer, after all).
It turns out that her mother-in-law is a lovely woman, and rather than it being a case of jealousy, spite, or a creepy level of attachment to her son, it was all just a terrible mistake. Pennza explained her mother-in-law is incredibly frugal, the result of terrible poverty as a child.
She grew up in extreme poverty. As a child, she used to sneak into the kitchen and eat match heads. That’s a pica craving, and kids do it when they’re malnourished.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
Unable to resist any kind of bargain or money-saving strategy, she’s become a legend among her family.
However, she’s a bargain hunter to the bone. Her money saving strategies are legend—and often hilarious. At family gatherings, we amuse ourselves telling stories of crazy shit she’s done to save money.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
She once walked casually to the table where I was eating a subway sandwich and put my discarded cold cuts in a baggie because “someone will eat them.”
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
That’s apparently how the terrible dress error happened.
So when she spotted The Dress at an incredible bargain, she couldn’t turn it down. If you ask her now, she says she feels terrible about it.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
But less generous folks on the internet weren’t buying this explanation at all.
https://twitter.com/HazyGray/status/1141766730513113090
The updo cost money. I’m not buying the bargain hunter theory. Though I appreciate your generous soul.
— Andrea Hackett Henningsen (@andreahmay165) June 20, 2019
https://twitter.com/TM_Coffin/status/1141711482293542915
So, Pennza went out of her way to describe how generous and loving her mother-in-law is.
When I got my first job, she hemmed all my work pants because I can’t sew for shit. And because she was proud of me.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
She never misses a band concert, sports event, talent show, science fair…you name it. She’d walk over hot coals for her grandchildren. She gives them everything. Because, you know, she grew up with nothing.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
The woman is practically a saint.
She’s frugal. But she’s also incredibly generous. When my twins were newborns, she drove across town every night, slept on the sofa, and did three feedings. For two babies. Every night for months.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
In context, it’s no wonder that Pennza looks back on it as a funny mistake rather than a declaration of war.
So, yeah, the wedding dress was a shock. But it gave me a pretty funny memory. No one who attended has ever forgotten it. And, you have to admit, weddings can be forgettable.
— Amy Pennza (@AmyPennza) June 20, 2019
Unfortunately, it’s not the only time someone showed up their kid’s wedding in a wedding dress. And most of the mothers-in-law involved were decidedly less innocent than Pennza’s.
https://twitter.com/briebarbee/status/1141425691612704768
Wait. This has happened more than once?
— sofia (@sofiability) June 19, 2019
I can top that. My MOTHER did this to me. Turned up in a full lace white dress to my wedding in 2010.
— Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor) June 20, 2019
Then she got drunk and lap danced a Roman statue in a fountain. In her white dress. #weddingfail @jimmyfallon
You are not alone. Mine did too. 😂 pic.twitter.com/rwF3KqV4m4
— Hillary Minicucci (@CurlyGRL12) June 19, 2019
In the end, @DrSpEdinNV may speak for all the nosy Twitter users. She wrote, “I have suddenly become overly invested in women behaving horribly at other women’s weddings and I don’t know why.”
Please tell me there’s video of this. I have suddenly become overly invested in women behaving horribly at other women’s weddings and I don’t know why.
— Dr. Shanon Taylor (@DrSpEdinNV) June 19, 2019
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