These hilarious made-up Sega CD games are absolutely amazing

The Sega CD was a cutting-edge video system for its time—the “console wars” era of the early ’90s— but by 1995 it had been entirely abandoned as Sega shifted focus to its disastrous next-gen system, the Saturn. Still, some people fondly remember the Sega CD. And one of them has made a very good Twitter account featuring box art for absurd, made-up Sega CD games. It’s one of the few things on the internet right now with the potential to make you laugh uncontrollably.

Writer Brian Firenzi originally launched @segacdgames in March 2016 with a handful of tweets, but it went on a months-long hiatus until early this year. Now it’s back, and it’s really hitting its stride. The fake games range from unlikely movie adaptations to depressing real-life situations to grim takes on actual games. Also, there’s this, the viral tweet that finally put SegaCDGames on the map:

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/896185930100359170

Oh no! indeed.

The fans may have come for “Dunston Fucks Good,” but they’re staying for wild stuff like “Doing Donuts on John Madden’s Lawn ’93,” “Ernest Hemingway’s ‘A Farewell to Arms’,” and “Leisure Suit Tilda Swinton.”

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/902259055191719936

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/901879748682551296

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/900517182823702529

Some of the entries are just on the edge of being something you’d want to play, while others fall into the category of “too real.”

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/902683478986248193

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/900102317999050753

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/904068347079348226

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/905569198637768705

More recently, Firenzi has started mixing in over-the-top Sega CD fan tweets, giving the account the character of the exact psychotic game fan who would play and collect these psychotic games.

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/906850393879203843

Say helllo to my dingus . sega Cd https://t.co/R7g8qAcAqq

— Sega CD Games (@SegaCDgames) September 12, 2017

[to the tune of “all the small things”]

Sega
CD

— Sega CD Games (@SegaCDgames) September 9, 2017

Ah, the good old days of gaming, when kids played wholesome titles like “Cool Spot Buries the Bodies.”

https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/903311487732772866

We can never go back again.