Working behind a bar isn’t all shaking drinks and small talk.
For most bartenders, the real job is navigating customers—especially the rude ones—with a smile, even when that’s the last thing they feel like doing.
And since most of their income depends on tips, they don’t exactly have the luxury of snapping back.
That’s why when TikTok creator @inanotherreem asked fellow service industry workers to share their wildest “ways of dealing with nasty, rude, entitled people,” the comments came flooding in. Her post, which now has over 892,000 views, struck a nerve.
“I’m not talking about killing them with kindness,” she said in the clip. “I need your most bizarre, out-of-pocket strategies.”
The responses were full of real-life hacks—some funny, some dead serious. But one stuck out: the Grey Rock Method.
“Grey rock method combined with straight up ignoring the table,” one commenter wrote. “Once I’ve ascertained that you’re not going to tip me, I just ignore you because what tf can you do other than stiff me.”
So what is the Grey Rock Method?
According to Medical News Today, it’s a tactic often used to deal with toxic or manipulative people.
The idea is to respond with as little emotion and engagement as possible—think dry, boring, zero reaction. You basically become a “grey rock” in the conversation, giving the other person nothing to latch onto.
While it’s typically used in more personal or emotionally charged situations, some service workers are clearly finding it useful on the job too. Especially when dealing with someone who’s being rude for no reason.
The method isn’t supposed to come off as cold or unprofessional—it’s about protecting a server’s energy. In high-stress environments like bars or restaurants, that can make all the difference.
Other commenters offer more suggestions
In the comments, other service workers chimed in with their own tactics—some petty, some painfully relatable.
“I cry often. Especially at rude customers,” one wrote. “I will stand there and sob with snot until they stop. I have no shame.”
Another shared, “If they interrupt me, I stop and wait for them to finish, then start over like I didn’t hear.”
And someone else recalled a bold move: “I used to take the ‘Please wait to be seated’ sign and put it in front of tables that sat themselves. Wouldn’t give ’em menus. Ignored them until they walked back up front.”
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