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Milestones are important to track healthy growth. A child’s first steps, their first words, the first day of school; it all gives proper reassurance everything is on track, things are happening as they should be.
The same can be said for platforms as they mature. Their first 10,000 users, the first moment posters take pride in it, the first main character of the timeline.
Threads hit another big milestone this week: It’s first age gap discourse.
The internet always argues about dating age gaps
Age gap discourse is one of the internet’s most tried and true forms of inflamed conversation, roping in hot-button issues such as sex, morality, power dynamics, often times celebrity, all stridently defended or defamed by men’s rights activists, feminists, and people with first-hand experience who adamantly believe they know what’s best.
Back when X was Twitter, it came up all the dang time. From an elderly Al Pacino’s twenty-something girlfriend to Leo DiCaprio’s unceasing thirst for 25 years olds as he aged to even a recent debate over Andrew Garfield’s girlfriend, 11 years his junior, the site’s users have always been up for (or against) age gaps.
The exhausted nature of the debate over the debate was summed up by one user.
“half of this website thinks 30 year olds are ancient gargoyles ready for the grave the other half thinks they’re tiny babies ripe for manipulation at every turn,” they wrote.
And on Threads, this week a couple of different threads blew up.
Threads explodes with age gap discourse
One of the biggest came from a photographer calling out age gaps.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but a 30+ year old man should not date an 18-23 year old girl. It’s honestly not normal,” they wrote in a post that exploded on the site.
Some were ready and willing to boast their age gap bona fides, sharing messages they maybe should have kept to themselves.
“I met my wife when she was 16, I was 40. Got married when she was 17. Now she is 23,” read the top comment on the post. “I am 47 and we got a 3 years old daughter. What is not normal with this?”
Well, for a great many: “Everything, you absolute fucking creep” said a top-liked reply.
While 16 can admittedly be young, others pushed more reasonable examples they eagerly defended.
“I was 19 when I married my then 28yo husband and it was THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE. So let me correct you, cause you are wrong: no man or woman should date an underage man or woman, but NO ONE should be judging what two CONSENTING adults do with their life. Hope that helps,” wrote one.
“Nah, that’s still gross,” replied another. And many agreed, citing the inherent power dynamics an older person could prey on, dubbing the relationship manipulative.
“Finally …. am saying this as a girl in my twenties . I dated a man who was 35 when I was 25 and it messed me UP. Those older men can’t get women their own age so go for vulnerable easily manipulated younger women,” one person wrote.
But not everyone agreed.
“Any one can manipulate and be vulnerable though I saw a 65 year old dr was paying for this woman for years and she was just manipulating him silly doesn’t matter how old or how young you are anyone is at risk tbh.”
And Threads, bless its now mature soul, had a few men willing to blame women (these platforms grow up so fast 😭).
“I mean, could you also not say that 23 year old girls shouldn’t date older men? It goes both ways. It’s fine for a woman to say she likes older men, but if a ‘older’ man likes younger girls, that’s not okay?”
But that wasn’t the only age gap debate to pop up in the wake of this one post blowing up, perhaps partially because of Threads’ recent issues with engagement bait posts across the site.
“PSA being 30+ and thirsting over 19 y/o’s is fucking weird behavior,” wrote another post with thousands of likes.
“What’s the age of oldest / youngest woman a 41 year old man can date without looking like a sketch ball?” asked another post.
“Is it wrong for a 19 year old girl to date a 60 year old man?” wondered a third.
Yes, no, maybe. Threads, it seems, is at least mature enough now to have these conversations. But there’s one way in which it is still clear that it’s in its infancy.
A search for Andrew Garfield reveals not a single concern that he’s dating a woman too young for him.
Baby steps.
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