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What is the ‘Care Bear Method’ on TikTok?

The Care Bear Method takes ghosting to a whole new level.

Photo of Anna Good

Anna Good

Care Bear method

Care Bear Method of…what now?

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The Care Bear Method is a popular trend that everyone is talking about on TikTok. Some people recommend you “ghost” all social media accounts to get the attention of the person you’re attracted to because they start wondering if something is wrong.

Care Bear Method: what is it?

Many TikTokers espouse the Care Bear Method, a dating trick to make your crush or ex notice you, which has itself turned into a meme.

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This method essentially requires changing your social media and texting habits.

If you’re frequently posting on your social media platforms, shifting to radio silence can cause anyone potentially interested in you to notice and begin checking in with you.

A man with messy hair is talking into the camera while holding a lapel mic in his hand. Text overlay reads, '3 ways to get any guy to like you that already rejected you.' A second text box reads, 'I feel like we all know someone that's just super mysterious.'
@vanbanger/TikTok

It doesn’t seem related to the Care Bears, which American Greetings created in the 1980s following Strawberry Shortcake’s success. These bears represent different emotions and feature icons on their stomachs.

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How does the Care Bear Method work?

A number of TikTok content creators have shared their takes on the Care Bear Method, but the gist of it is that you have a specific person in mind that you want to become “obsessed” with you to the point of distraction.

This will only be effective if it is someone you have had a connection with previously, such as a crush you interact with regularly or an ex-partner. You then go no-contact with them and stop posting on all your social media accounts: Facebook, Instagram, even your Stories and Snapchat. 

A young man sitting in his desk chair holding a lapel mic in his hand. Text overlay reads, 'what ist he care bear method?'
@apbtalks/TikTok
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Some content creators say that it will only take a couple of days, while others say it will work after around a week to ten days. This method of ghosting social media, so say these creators, will make the other person curious or worried about you and cause them to reach out.

It is of course important to note that the Care Bear Method is essentially “resetting” your communication style with this other person. One should consider that talking too intensely to the person they’re interested in might overwhelm them, clearly marking the drastic shift.

Researchers have conducted studies on over-communication and its negative impact on all types of relationships. Healthline suggests more balanced, healthy communication methods, such as asking questions to give others a chance to talk more.

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A woman with red lipstick and long white nails talking into the camera. She is explaining the Care Bear Method.
@latoxicabyjacque/TikTok

Some people could be love bombing the person they are interested in dating by over-communicating, intentionally or not.

The Cleveland Clinic describes love bombing as a “form of psychological and emotional abuse that involves a person going above and beyond for you in an effort to manipulate you into a relationship with them.”

Care Bear Method Examples

Here’s a roundup of Care Bear Method examples across social media.

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A black-haired woman looking into the camera. Text overlay reads, 'Have you tried the CARE BEAR METHOD? I've always wanted to try this Care Bear method that I hear on TikTok.'
@focusedminds7/TikTok
@vanbanger

care bear method is 🔑

♬ original sound – tyler
A man in a white beanie staring off to the side. He is replying to a TikTok comment that reads, 'What is the care bear method?'
@selfgoddishome/TikTok
@latoxicabyjacque Get him obsessed with you 7 day care bear method #foryou #relationshipgoals #carebearmethod #thecarebearmethod #obsessed #gethimobsessed #gethimobsessedwithyou #stalker #toxic #manpulative #manipulation #7days #manipulate #manipulator #obessive #stalker #stalkeralert #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #learntomanipulate #manipulationtactic #manipulatehim ♬ original sound – Jacque La Toxica
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Negative reactions to the Care Bear Method

Not everyone sees the Care Bear Method as a positive way to get the person you want to date to reach out to you. Several TikTokers have posted about the unhealthy perspective this communication method, or lack thereof, can cause with relationships.

@ivvyanna its really that simple #nocontact #carebear ♬ original sound – ivyanna
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TikTok comment that reads, 'Big big big BIG facts. No contact method really should be focused on YOURSELF! Not in hopes of gaining the person back'
@_colbys/TikTok
TikTok comment that reads, 'CORRECT!!!! Much more better put all time, energies to our self than other people not deserve for all of that [privilege] (fire emojis)'
@_colbys/TikTok
TikTok comment that reads, 'Thank you!! I ain't trying to trick someone into being into me by playing mind games.'
@_colbys/TikTok
TikTok comment that reads, 'This! Sick a games so why would I play em? If he don’t want you, move around.'
@crystalmilton2/TikTok
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