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Memes

Pebbling: a love language inspired by penguins

“Nothing says I miss you like the pebbling of a meme”

Photo of Anna Good

Anna Good

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evenfh/ShutterStock (Licensed)

Pebbling refers to collecting little things, like memes or funny videos and photos, and sharing them with your romantic partner, someone you are interested in dating, or even just friends that you care about.

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Screenshot of a tweet. Text reads, 'Recently I learned that the act of sending your friends & family little videos and tweets and memes you find online it’s called pebbling, like how penguins bring pebbles back to their little penguin loved ones'
@nursekelsey/X

What is penguin pebbling?

Pebbling is a phenomenon that originally came from the Gentoo penguin in Antarctica. These particular penguins pebble to show their potential partner that they are interested in mating. Humans love this idea so much that they’ve taken on the term to mean “collecting and sharing little things with someone you are interested in so that you can build a bond,” according to Psychology Today.

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This is a small gesture to show that you were thinking of the other person and thought they would like whatever it is you are showing or giving them, which can be as simple as a TikTok video or meme or a trinket you saw while you were walking around. It isn’t a grand gesture, but simply a sign of affection and showing without explicitly telling the other person, “I was thinking about you and care about you.”

The penguin pebbling trend is so popular that even the news is talking about it in various segments.

https://twitter.com/KDKA/status/1813356764089246083

Penguin Pebbling examples

A lot of folks online send digital ‘pebbles’ to not just people they are interested in dating, but also friends they care about as a way to stay connected to one another, no matter how far apart you live (or even if you’ve never met IRL before!) 

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@SilenceInPolish claims that her PhD research is a method of pebbling, though her advisor seems to largely disagree.

A tweet that shows penguins with a pile of shiny pebbles. Text reads, 'Disagreement with my supervisor on whether my PhD is an exercise in vignettes or, my suggestion, pebbling - finding cool nuggets and sharing them with my fellow penguins. Either way, can't wait to reach the end and share it all!'
@SilenceInPolish/X

Pebbling is something that just gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, and it’s understandable because it means you know that someone else thought enough about you in their day that they wanted to send or gift you something, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential.

Screenshot of a tweet. Text from @kitthebeefcake reads, 'When someone you haven't heard from in a while sends you a meme and your like 'Shit... They do like me :)'' And @TallTalesOfJack replied, 'Nothing says I miss you like the pebbling of a meme'
@TallTalesOfJack/X
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Folks who are learning the term are also choosing to pebble their loved ones more actively, like this woman’s husband who has actively started bringing her little snacks after he learned about the act.

Screenshot of a tweet. Text reads, 'I told my husband about 'pebbling' but instead of sending me memes, he’s begun bringing me random treats telling me, 'I’m pebbling you.' So now he brings snacks to my office, while I’m cooking, or right before I leave the house.'
@LoveFromRonni/X

Now this may be a situation of mixing up correlation vs causation, but it is noted pretty often online that pebbling is a form of neurodivergent love language. Those little dopamine hits of pebbling or getting pebbled in return are so special for someone who is neurodivergent.

Screenshot of a tweet. Text reads, 'Look at the neurodivergent love languages for ideas on how to connect (penguin pebbling is one of my faves) We tend to gravitate to each other, so often when you find one, you find a few See also: highly sensitive person'
@blifflesplick/X
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However not everyone likes every form of pebbling, so it may be good to ask if the person you’re sending memes and video links to doesn’t like something you’re sending them.

Screenshot of a tweet. Text reads, 'A little known fact is that my least favourite kind of pebbling is getting links to Youtube shorts / Instagram reels on other platforms. Legit, am so unlikely to ever click through because the redirect annoys me so bad.'
@blifflesplick/X

Other forms can be sharing music, handwritten notes or tokens for them to find in their mailbox or desk, and even small acts of service that make their day a little bit easier.

Screenshot of a tweet. Text from user ScantilyGl reads, 'I know when my friendship with someone reaches a new level when k start sending them unsolicited TikToks lol' Bradnovreske replies, 'It's digital pebbling (smiling heart face emoji)'
@bradnovreske/X
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Pebbling is something that doesn’t take up much time or money because it’s the simple nature of the thought that is most important.

Even celebrities pebble their friends, like actress Nicola Coughlan does to co-star Luke Newton from Bridgerton.

 
The Daily Dot