Analysis
The campaign trail is a candidate’s chance to define or redefine their public image. Does the electorate think you’re a prematurely elderly, out-of-touch religious zealot? Well, slip into some leather and hop on a motorcycle like former Vice President Mike Pence. Are you an unknown tech bro with presidential ambitions? Show up to a former president’s arraignment and make a ham-handed attempt to grab headlines by demanding your rivals sign a pledge to pardon him.
But what if you’re Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R)? Thanks to Fox News and DeSantis’ former status as the chief presidential suck-up, he’s a known quantity. As with any candidate, this is both a positive and a negative. It certainly doesn’t help matters that DeSantis is campaigning for the presidency with all the grace of a rabid porcupine. Not even the simple act of greeting a baby can make him come across as anything but ChatGPT pretending to converse with the hoi polloi.
Assuming he’s is not going to win many points on the likeability scale by eating pudding with his fingers (allegedly), inspiring “pure hatred” in his staff, and treating members of his own party (including donors) with the warmth of a White Walker, the best play is for DeSantis to do what comes naturally: attack, attack, attack.
DeSantis relishes attacking his enemies, both real and imagined. Some might even say it’s his kink. Just ask undocumented immigrants, transgender people, pregnant people, Disney, teachers, drag queens, and books.
Today, Florida’s governor set his sights on California Governor Gavin Newsom (D). DeSantis enjoys going after Newsom and California almost as much as he enjoys firing people.
In his speech, DeSantis challenged Newsom to seek the Democratic presidential nomination and accused him of having a “bizarre” and “serious fixation” on Florida.
“What I would tell him is stop pussyfooting around,” DeSantis said. “Are you gonna throw your hat in the ring and challenge [President Joe Biden] … or are you just gonna sit on the sidelines and chirp?”
(DeSantis was probably mad that Newsom called him a “small, pathetic man” for flying migrants to California on Floridian taxpayers’ dimes.)
Mature observers made points about the unlikelihood of Newsom running against Biden, DeSantis’ own yearlong shadow campaign before his official announcement, and the fact that DeSantis’ state might be big, but Newsom’s is bigger.
Less mature observers zeroed in on DeSantis saying the word “pussy.” No, he was not talking about genitalia. No, he wasn’t bragging about grabbing one. And, yes, he properly used the term “pussyfooting.”
There’s just something deeply uncomfortable about hearing Governor Pudding Fingers say “pussy.”
Maybe it’s his track record of policing vaginas. Maybe it’s that absence of charm.
Either way, DeSantis could do us all a favor and omit “pussy” from his stump speeches. For the children.
