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‘We are yelling at the wrong people’: Server says people who don’t tip shouldn’t go to restaurants — and TikTokers aren’t having it

‘I feel like servers forget tipping is optional, not a mandatory requirement.’

Photo of Jack Alban

Jack Alban

tiktoker claims tipping is optional

A TikToker is going viral for calling out another user on the platform after they posted a video of themselves crying and criticizing individuals who don’t tip servers at their restaurant.

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User Amir Abdallah (@heyy_amir) called Daylie Waters (@iamdaylie) “annoying” for attempting to bully people with moral superiority about not giving gratuities to servers. Abdallah added that individuals like Waters were incorrectly directing their ire towards restaurant patrons and not business owners themselves. He states that those who work food service jobs elected to take the position, intimating they were fully aware of the pay structure they were participating in.

The video begins with a snippet of Waters’ TikTok: “If you don’t have money to tip your server and you go out to eat and don’t tip your server I have zero respect for you.”

Abdallah then cuts in and says, “This is probably an unpopular opinion and I’m saying it anyway because I’m annoyed. Tipping is optional.”

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He continues that he will only tip if the server grants good service, and sometimes even if he doesn’t get the desired service he will leave a tip.

“But, for you to say that people shouldn’t dine in and you lose respect for people who don’t tip is fucked up,” Abdallah claims. “People should be able to go out to a restaurant, enjoy their time with their family and leave a tip if they feel like they want to do that. They are only obligated to pay for the meals that they are eating. End of story.”

Abdallah says if servers complain about getting paid five dollars an hour, that is “your employer’s issue.”

“And that’s your issue that you agreed to do,” Abdallah says. “So if there’s any issue, the restaurants are more than capable to pay you more and choosing not to. We are yelling at the wrong people and it’s fucked up that you try to make people feel bad if they can’t tip, like that’s so annoying.”

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@heyy_amir #stitch with @iamdaylie #tipping #tippingculture #opinion #fyp #restaurant ♬ original sound – heyy_amir

Many servers make a base minimum wage of only $2.13 as they are expected to earn gratuities during their shifts. However, these base rates vary from state to state. In Minnesota, for instance, many servers earn $10.33 per hour as a base rate, and in California, it’s $15. Paycor has a full list of different states’ minimum wages for servers listed.

In a 2020 article penned by Eater, the outlet delineated mass efforts to try and move restaurants away from a no-tipping model and instead offer base salaries for employees. However, there ultimately was pushback to this initiative, and many of the popular eateries that had banned gratuities by May of 2016 data suggested that they nearly all reverted to gratuity models by 2018.

Many TikTokers who saw Abdallah’s post agreed with his points. A user named Alexa said, “I feel like servers, forget tipping is optional not a mandatory requirement.”

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Another, @hamachi_4 penned, “Yep, it’s the employers responsibility not the customers, in my country they’re starting to have this tipping culture but we’re fighting it.”

One user wrote, “It’s crazy how people direct their hate to customers rather than THEIR EMPLOYERS.”

Another user on the platform seemed to also sympathize with families who may not be able to afford a high gratuity but still wanted to give their children the experience of going out to eat.

“No but imagine some poor family that tried to save money for their kids bday or something to give them a nice dinner,” they wrote.

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The user wrote that tipping is a uniquely American expectation when going out to eat and added that in their own culture, it’s considered disrespectful to leave a gratuity to a server.

“In my country it’s disrespectful to tip lmao,” they wrote, with another user named Ren adding, “I hate tipping system why even it’s exist? I don’t imagine working for hours and there’s no insurance i’ll get paid I’m glad it’s not in my country.”

However, there were some who speculated that the position Abdallah is taking is one that individuals who have never worked food service previously would adopt.

“Someone has never worked food service,” one user wrote, with another echoing his sentiment, “It be the people who say ‘I tip based off of service given’ that are always the ones who had no intention in tipping anyways.”

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The Daily Dot has reached out to Abdallah via Instagram direct message for further comment.

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