An Australian man recently won an unfair dismissal case after being fired for downloading and watching hardcore porn (including videos of himself) on his work-issued laptop. According to Commissioner Ian Cambridge, while the man’s behavior was inappropriate, there was no evidence the company, Smarter Insurance Brokers, had any policy in place to specify how work-issued computers should be used.
Which means that it’s possible for you, yes, YOU to watch all the porn you want on the job and still be in the clear. Just follow these handy steps:
1. Review your company’s internet-use policies closely.
If your office blocks internet access to NSFW sites, sorry, you’re out of luck. But many companies keep their internet free and clear, and specify in their employee guidelines what types of sites may or may not be visited. Sure, they may have vague wording about not looking at “inappropriate” material, but who’s to say what’s inappropriate anymore in the sex-positive year of our lord 2016? If they don’t spell it out, it may be a loophole.
2. Use your own computer.
Our hero got away with using a work-issued laptop to view and store his porn, but that was a pretty risky move. Instead, why not use your coworkers’ computers when they’ve called in sick? Or just look at porn on your phone in the bathroom like a normal person.
3. Get creative.
You know that ol’ chestnut that you know porn when you see it? Stretch that definition out a bit and you’ll realize porn is all around us. Read a WikiHow tutorial on how to have sex. Let your imagination run wild every time you see the number 69. Draw boobs on an old expense report.
4. Work from home.
Did you know that if you work from home, you can pretend to be answering emails while you’re uploading lots of free porn? Crazy! Thanks, Slack!
